I turned 23 a few days ago…and God I am absolutely terrified……good god no! not because I am “old”….its the whole load of crap that comes along when you reach this spot in your life. Obviously dear readers, anyone would be. But that is not what is on my mind.
Marriage!!!!!!!!!!!! There . I said it. You know I don’t care for subtlety. But then again in all honesty, this issue has been haunting my brains since the beginning of this year. It all started with a friend getting married….well, that was sorta expected since she was in love with him for almost 10 years. But then came the news of my junior getting hitched right along. Along her came the news of another friend getting proposed…I mean, it was a freakin epidemic!!
Of course my parents are dolls, they don’t give two hoots about “when” I get married as long it’s to a sweetheart. But then again, when you live in India and from a malayali background where staying ringless for a long time is sort of…frowned upon…it does get you thinking.
I have never dated. Ever. The idea of “belonging” to someone for some ungodly reason has always scared the wits out of me, and the irony is that my parents had a bollywood love story of their own, man! One expects things getting passed down the gene line….still…sigh! Anyway, I don’t think I can ever be anyone’s “wife”! Wow I just got the chills….but I just can’t. Have you seen my room? Nightmare! My idea of a perfect dinner is watching a game with a plate of nachos! I don’t care how long the jeans go unwashed and I HATE, absolutely ABHOR any form of housework. Ask my best friend…it looks like she comes everyday from noida not to meet me but to clean my room….poor thing…God I love her!
Next problem is privacy. I cant stand people entering my room …something similar to what Sheldon Cooper suffers from. How am I supposed to live WITH a guy? People I'm telling you the list just never ends….eating with him, sleeping with him(faints), sharing the same things….how am I going to do all this???
I still put glitter all over my room, abuse profusely and unabashedly when India loses a match, have absolutely no qualms about wearing the same clothes 5 days a week(clean of course), I watch cartoons with a burning passion and finally….am a freaking child!!!! And trust me…this is how I was when I was 13 and this is how I am going to be. Maturity is never going to be part of the deal. So you see my problem now? In the next 2-3 years when the flames start licking my ass you see the dangnammit dilemma I'm in????
Love is not part of the equation anymore…I think its too late for that, I have a doctorate in being a control freak by now. So if this girl is ever to get hitched…arranged it is! But I dont think I can be ready...ever....is this freak of a paranoia only in my case or are there more like me??? coz I really need someone who feels the same or I think I'm in dire need of therapy!!!
peace
