The real gentleman's game

Okay, so now it has been ages since something really exciting has happened in my life and that is saying something because it is quite unusual that it happens so.

But the French open came into the fray with a storm and like it does all the time it took my breath away! For the past few weeks all I have been talking about is tennis......much to the agony of my non-sporty friends. (yes, offence!)

After the disastrous, flashy and tacky IPL got over mercifully, there was this  quite in the household, as if there is nothing forward to look to on T.V, but then the French Open hit all of us with such a force that they were surprised that they were so much interested in it. But then again most of my sports mania has been passed onto me from my parents themselves, so it did not come as much of a surprise.

I confess that I am a major cricket enthusiast, nothing thrills me more than the pure adrenaline rush of watching a dive catch or stumps uprooting from the pitch or watching a close run out, it was probably this passion which got me so disappointed in IPL, besides the fact that the whole thing was scripted, the sheer cheapness and the unwanted hype which turned it from a sport to an mere source of entertainment really hurt me.

Coming back to the real point, the reason this time the French open was such a hit for me was because of its freshness. There is something about this sport that manages to surprise me every time,  for example the fact that the William sisters did not even make it to the quarters came in as such a shock, to top that they were top seeds. Djokovic reached quarters in a game where he lost the first two straight sets and struggled his way through. For the first time, unheard names reached the top in the women’s section…who will not be blown away?

And when a forehand is smashed from the baseline, it is a kick in itself. Unlike in cricket where a while team comes together to pull through, here it is all in the head of the player. He had to stay strong even when he is losing, not give in to the voices in his head. That is why every shot, every rally is so important. You have absolutely no idea what is coming next! I remember watching this match between Nadal and Nicolas Almagro, both from Spain. It was obvious that Nadal would be the winner not just because of his supreme champion status but also because he is king of clay, but there were moments in the match where Almagro was making Nadal sweat for the ball, literally making him run between both ends of the court, and though I was rooting for Nadal, I could not help but admire the guy's skill. And what a fantastic final! Even the rain which pushed the game to the next day could not dull the thrill. The ever perfect Djokovic made 53 whopping unforced errors and Nadal pushed himself like never before and won the final point sinking to his knees in pure joy. It sure was a historic moment as he was the first guy to have seven french open championships, but the best part was watching him jump into the crowds and dive straight into the arms of his coach, uncle Toni!

I know it is too extreme for me to say that I am switching my loyalties from cricket to tennis, which would be too extreme…but this sport has been gaining my absolute respect for quite some time…and in my mind, tennis is the new gentleman’s game.

Peace 

GOD! THE MOMENT WHICH I HAVE BEEN DREADING......

I think this is one of those freakishly rare moments where I’m having to think excessively before I speak! Does not feel good for a spontaneous mind like mine.....but what I have to say...is probably the most important thing in my life right now...so I have to say it right!!

                                             

My life is coming to an end....I mean it,.....my old-I don’t give a damn-chalta hai-whoooooo life is coming to an end. I’m never gonna be a student again (dats for sure! never wanna touch a book again). The point is..."I am so jobless", was a phrase that was very commonly used in my life when everything was normal..like when I was back in college few weeks ago...now, that I AM jobless having graduated, I have begun to wonder how I kept trying to avoid thinking about this day..... don't get it? God people I AM OFFICIALLY AN ADULT NOW!!!! AND I DON'T WANT TO BE!!!!!!! AARRGGHHH!!

Was that clear enough?

What this phase demands from me is to pick up my socks, strap my belt, clean my nose and gear up to jump into the slushy, murky, black swamp.....also called the "real world" by some great people. I have been a happy go lucky bugger all my life...there was never any place for seriousness, I was famous for finding the funny in the formal!!!! I cant believe I use to crib about going to classes, but now as I am sending my resumes and going for job interviews, pondering over the salary and the job profile.....one question keeps orbiting in my brain....."Do I like have to do this? Now"

Trust me, I feel like slapping myself when this happens, I mean, for god sakes, college is over and there is a whole new life filled with possibilities and untapped niches of success and opportunities for me to discover.........and here I am, on my bed......falling asleep googling sparkly gif wallpapers! Pathetic or what???

You can call it escapism....if you want to, coz....that is what I am doing! I am running away! Running away from the fact that the time for fun n games is over, the time to crib and cry over silly things is over, the time to loaf around with your friends is friggin over!!! And that I have to get a great job, find a great house, get great....okay at least decent money, pay my own bills, wash my own clothes, cook my own food.......PAY TAXES!!!! Reality has never really been my best friend.....I hate the acidity it gives me.......explains why I love Harry Potter so much!

But I wonder is it just me? Coz honestly most of pals seem damn excited and some are literally bouncing of the walls in sheer delight contemplating their futures! Also is it that bad that I am not feeling the heat? that I am relaxing and leaving everything to fate?? Wow! I do sound like some lazy bum!!

 A really good friend has been trying to talk me through this......trying to put some of her well tended fire into me, that I should quit hiding under my sheets in my safe and cozy room and step out in the scorching sun and sweat a little.....embrace the truth or at least shake hands with it! I know that it's not gonna be easy out there, and maybe that's the scariest part, but then again I have to slay my own dragons right? So lets see how this works out.... dreadful as it sounds....I'm gonna jump into this swamp with my arms wide open and a giant smile plastered on my face............hope the landing doesn't hurt too much!!!

peace!! :)

IN LOVE WITH ROMANCE NOVELS...ALWAYS!!

Sometimes, all we can do is imagine...when we know that certain things we..would like to happen...will never happen, we take refuge in our imagination! And here is where the purpose of a romance novels kicks in! It is the elixir for us die hard romantics.

I have been reading one since I was 15...I remember my first mills and boon novel. It was something about a guy and a girl who meet on their trip to turkey. Oh my god! I remember the "feelings" coursing through me when I was reading...plus I was abroad at the time..so I could kind of relate to it. And thus began my tryst with love novels. Although right now I prefer a nice rich historical romance to a mills and boon...m&b is so.....dry compared to  historical ones!

In the beginning I would feel slightly odd...it was like reading something explicit... something that was forbidden, but I got over my conscience somehow and started to enjoy what I read. I think it is total bullshit that reading romantic books makes your perspective towards love kinda...dumb! You start looking at love through rosy glasses. Please...I'm 21 and I'm yet to fall in love! It has not made me all mushy mushy in the least, rather I would say I have had some really good reads.

The best part about reading a romance novel is the fact that at one point you become a part of it. You become familiar with the characters...their emotions, and also that it is such a simple read you enjoy it more.When the heroine is all helpless and fighting the demons of  her past, the hero comes to her rescue and teaches her how to live again. Or when the hero is trying to slay his dragons the heroine does it for him and wins his heart. But the best story for me is usually when both the leads are at logger heads with each other and that friction finally leads to sparks....ah! Ambrosia!!!!

It is the best company for one when they are traveling or have nothing to do one afternoon or simply want to unwind. So march up to a bookstore and get yourself one of these delights. They are perfect to either warm up or set the cockles of your heart on fire!! :)

some of my fav's!! I'm sure you'll love em :)

JULIA QUINN: EVERYTHING AND THE MOON

It was indisputably love at first sight. But Victoria Lyndon was merely the teenaged daughter of a vicar. . .while Robert Kemble was the dashing young earl of Macclesfield. Surely what their meddlesome fathers insisted must have been true-that he was a reckless seducer determined to destroy her innocence. . . and she was a shameless fortune hunter. So it most certainly was for the best when their plans to elope went hopelessly awry. Even after a seven-year separation, Victoria-now a governess-still leaves Robert breathless. But how could he ever again trust the raven-haired deceiver who had shattered his soul? And Victoria could never give her heart a second time to the cad who so callously trampled on it the first. But a passion fated will not be denied, and vows of love yearn to be kept. . . even when one promises the moon.

JUDE DEVERAUX:  KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR

This timeless love story greets a new generation. Abandoned by her lover, thoroughly modern Dougless Montgomery finds herself alone and brokenhearted in an old English church. She never dreamed that a love more powerful than time awaited her there...until Nicholas Stafford, Earl of Thornwyck, a sixteenth-century knight, appeared. Drawn to him by a bond so sudden and compelling that it defied reason, Dougless knew that Nicholas was nothing less than a miracle: a man who would not seek to change her, who found her perfect just as she was. But she could not know how strong were the chains that tied them to the past -- or the grand adventure that lay before them.

JULIA QUINN: MINX

It takes a minx to tempt a rogue...Beautiful and feisty Henrietta Barrett has never followed the dictates of society. She manages her elderly guardian′s estate, prefers to wear breeches rather than dresses, and answers to the unlikely name of Henry. But when her guardian passes away, her beloved home falls into the hands of a distant cousin.
And it takes a rogue to tame her...William Dunford, London′s most elusive bachelor, is stunned to learn that he′s inherited property, a title...and a ward bent on making his first visit his last. Henry is determined to continue running the Cornwall estate without help from the handsome new lord, but Dunford is just as sure he can change things...starting with his wild young ward. But turning Henry into a lady makes her not only the darling of the town, but an irresistible attraction to the man who thought he could never be tempted.


JULIA QUINN: ON THE WAY TO THE WEDDING

A funny thing happened...
Unlike most men of his acquaintance, Gregory Bridgerton believes in true love. And he is convinced that when he finds the woman of his dreams, he will know in an instant that she is the one. And that is exactly what happened. Except...
She wasn’t the one. In fact, the ravishing Miss Hermione Watson is in love with another. But her best friend, the ever-practical Lady Lucinda Abernathy, wants to save Hermione from a disastrous alliance, so she offers to help Gregory win her over. But in the process, Lucy falls in love. With Gregory! Except...
Lucy is engaged. And her uncle is not inclined to let her back out of the betrothal, even once Gregory comes to his senses and realizes that it is Lucy, with her sharp wit and sunny smile, who makes his heart sing. And now, on the way to the wedding, Gregory must risk everything to ensure that when it comes time to kiss the bride, he is the only man standing at the altar...


JUDITH MCNAUGHT: UNTIL YOU

A teacher in a school for wealthy young ladies, Sheridan, Bromleigh is hired to accompany one of her students, heiress Charise Lancaster, to England to meet her fiance. When her charge elopes with a stranger, Sheridan wonders how she will ever explain it to Charise’s intended, Lord Burleton.  Standing on the pier, Stephen Westmoreland, the Earl of Langford, assumes the young woman coming toward him is Charise Lancaster — and informs her of his inadvertent role in a fatal accident involving Lord Burleton the night before. And just as Sheridan is about to speak, she steps into the path of a cargo net loaded with crates!  Sheridan awakens in Westmoreland’s mansion with no memory of who she is; the only hint of her past is the puzzling fact that everyone calls her Miss Lancaster. All she truly knows is that she is falling in love with a handsome English earl, and that the life unfolding before her seems full of wondrous possibilities…”  A little suspense, a lot of drama, this one is perfect for a long camping trip.

peace!! :)

SO WHAT IF YOU ARE A GROWN UP?.......CARTOONS ARE FOREVER!!!!!

A couple of weeks ago, I was at my friends dinner party...the usual, boring fare with women in colors that give competition to a peacock! Gah! It was in one word, boooooooooooring! Anyway, with a plate of  paneer tikka in my hand I made my way to the kids room, amazingly enough there were hardly any children there but a couple of teens sipping coke, looking bored stiff and watching TV...It was not my day! I entered the room with a sigh; smiling at them...they exchanged that look which said, "Geez! Another college kid!” talk about respect. I realized they were not really 'watching' TV, so I picked the remote and switched the channel to cartoon network...the reaction that followed was epic!

"Um, excuse me, but what on earth are you watching?" one of the anorexic beauties asked me in a drawl voice.

"Err...cartoon network...why… don’t you like it?" I replied in my most polite tone.

"Really? Like how old are you? And you still watch this retarded junk? You SO need to get a life! And she promptly switched it back to 'gossip girl' with a firm nod.

 I was gob smacked by what she said! This teeny bopper is belittling something I bet she was addicted to no less than 2 years ago!!!! How old was she… 14? God! But it is not just her; almost everyone thinks that after the age of 12 or something, if you watch cartoons, you are a joke! Why?

I grew up watching cartoon network; it was my lifeline to fun! I loved it so much that till date I find myself humming “Flintstones meet the Flintstones….” Just can’t get over it! As soon I would get back from school and finish my chores and homework, I would be glued to the screen.  Flintstones, Jetsons, Dexter, power puff girls, Johnny quest, you name it…all were my favorites, I just could not get enough of it! And contrary to the bull that people keep spreading, it DID NOT rot my brain in any way…rather it got me more enthusiastic about reading, it helped me imagine more , it also spiked my rate of daydreaming!!!

It is kind of sad that kids these days are not so much into cartoons and more about their psp’s and counter strike  and other junk, and I can see how it has affected the god of cartons, cartoon network! All you can see right now is the Anime rule…from Ben 10 to Bay Blade and whatever crap they show now! The children are missing out on the real stuff…Adam’s family, Looney tunes, yogi bear, Johnny Bravo and so many other fantastic cartoons! Thank god at least some of them know Tom and Jerry…although I am not quite sure they know who is tom and who is Jerry!! :D

We have to get rid of this idea that grown-ups and cartoons don’t go together, so what if the kids are out of it…their loss…We are the glorious generation of the famous Scooby Dooby dooooooooo, and the Yaba Daba doooooo….and nothing can beat that!!!

peace!!

a final addition......i swear...final...i had to add them!!!! very essential!!

A GUY WHO READS!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but a guy with a book in his hand is an instant magnet for me.
Somehow I relate to it more than anything because I am a voracious reader myself. I see them
mostly in coffee shops, roadsides, marine drive……they are just sitting their…with their book in their
hand.

Intelligence is one of the most attractive traits that one can find in a guy, it is so rare to find
someone with whom you can have a perfect witty and smart conversation. Now don’t go to the
extremes! The nerd type of conversations are not my thing where the guy keeps on ranting about
some ‘concept’ he believes and uses all his horsepower trying to convince you. Bleagh!!

I was sitting in landmark that day reading something in my usual spot, and then I heard this guy
suddenly asking me? “Come on! You like THAT?” instantly I was like “excuse me? Do I know you?”
making that back-off-dude face, but by some miracle we ended up talking our choices in books
and stuff. It was amazing, considering the fact that I don’t even talk much to the guys I know and
here I was chatting merrily away to some random guy in a book shop! Ha! Who would know right?
Moreover he was damn cute with his glasses and check shirt and all. Sigh! Good times.

So ladies, start reading for good…………not a magazine…sheesh!! You never know whom you may
bump into around the corner….havn’t you seen in movies? Heads bump, books tumble of arms,
glasses fall askew…and then……eyes meet!!!!

not a big fan of zacky here but....but that book somehow makes him look better!!!!


WHO CAN COOK!!

It is a dream! To find a guy who can cook...and look good at the same time. I mean...I can imagine when you are all low and unhappy, and your guy walks up to you with this hot plate of something hot and yummy...you have to be a martian not to think he is great!!

I think it is sexy more than anything watching a guy move around the kitchen like he owns it. Using the vegetables and the spices and the chopping! Oh that samurai style chopping!! The ultimate act! I remember back in college I had this baking certificate course, I took it coz I could not do hell in kitchen without setting the place on fire or burning myself in some way! Anyway, the professor was a treat to watch as he touched ingredient to ingredient and moved from oven to the grill, it was fantastic, plus he was good looking, so who wants more?

Once I remember, I could not the kneading right, it was damn pissing off as I was getting the dough all over my hands and my face. It was not becoming soft but kept getting sticky by the minute, then he came over to me watching my misery and offered to show me, he slid his arms slowly about my arms and started kneading the dough with my fingers. Oh-my-god! All I can remember is that I had lost my senses...I could not feel anything, but his breathing...his warm breath on my neck.....anyway, I am deviating.

I know we, women like to eat, it's true. Even the anorexic ones do at least at some point in their lifetime, and if a guy can whip up something deep fried and smothered in chocolate..nothing in the world can beat that!!!

So guys listen up please.....go and join that cooking class pronto....after all its not in the man's case that the fastest way to the heart is the stomach.....please! u cant have all the fun!!!!

WHO WEARS A MEAN TUX!

Okay, I don't think I need to talk much about this...three lines are pretty much enough..I mean this category is a hands on chick magnet. any guy...I mean literally any guy in this world can look sharp in a tux!! Its not fair....anyway guys are lucky in that sense! What can I say? guys in formals are my all time weakness...I'm still having a hard time getting over my old crush who parades around in a suit in front of me the whole day!!! Pathetic or what?? Tell me about it!!

So there you go!!!! Finally my list is complete!! Whew!! I hope some of you can relate to it!! After all.....this fantasy list is every girl's fantasy right????

peace!!

And finally....

A guy...who can hold you so right, and you can hold on to him without fearing anything

I really don't know what to say on this one...because it has never happened to me. Normally I would run for the hills if a guy tried to touch me forget putting his arms around me, but...can't help but think that can I ever...like ever and ever in this life feel like the woman in this picture? in peace and absolute bliss? kinda feels unreal.

I have seen couples hugging..all the time, but it is a very rare sight to see at least one pair which look like they are made to be in each others arms. Half the time the guys hands will be all over his lady love's delicate parts or he would just pat her head like an affectionate father! I feel a good hug is very important because, it is the most basic of contact between two people in love...it HAS to feel right!! A kiss can still be over looked in throes of passion, a hug is something where you don't think..it comes spontaneously...if it does not...then something is wrong.

I just love this picture...

A relationship needs to be comfortable...if one of them feels wrong or uncertain, it becomes quite difficult. But if a guy can hold his girl and crush all those doubts away...it is the best way to hope for the future. Because that is when you can feel safe and protected, assured that he is there for you, you can hear his heart racing..not because your body is in his arms but because his most priced possession is with him. If a guy can make  you feel like that ( god knows!) then you have found your home..your hope.

I know it all sounds a bit unreal...that love is not supposed to be rosy and dreamy but filled with trials and challenges..I know. But if you cant even hold your guy without thinking about what is there for dinner...then my friend,  something is wrong........ . Closed eyes, oblivious to the world, senses heightened yet numb, sweet relief and a blank mind...that is the real feeling.

They say you should not seek love..it comes to you, maybe it is true...I just hope I am ready for it when the time comes.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!

The list continues.............

2. WHO DANCES:

Patric Swayze in Dirty Dancing created a revolution in men who suddenly wanted to learn to dance, not just because you get to...touch your woman...but also because it is the best way to get to her heart. I mean, tell me, which girl would not swoon if her guy, or any guy for that matter holds her so intimately? with a romantic music in the background. It is the perfect spot for things to happen! eyes meet, hands touch(besides other parts!) the sweet tension at the time is probably the best feeling at the moment.

Watching a guy dance with or without a woman is a treat, especially if he is some hot thing. I remember when I joined salsa II classes, the first day we were only 6 of us. after we went back and told our friends about our instructor, Brian, in 3 days the strength went up to 25!! He was such a dream, whenever he would slide his waist around me..good god! It took al my strength not to say "I love you". the feeling was out of this world. not just me, every woman in the room would wait for him to come over and hold them in his arms.plus the sexy music helped a loooottt!!!!!

So I say that boyfriend or not, go ahead and dance with a guy....as they say in cheesy romance novels, " he held her in his arms of steel and she kept dying slowly."


3. WHO CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH:

Now this one I think we all relate to. What attracts us most about a guy is clearly his smile..all the more better if he can laugh loudly without freaking out the people in his periphery!

It is very rare to find such guys, trust me. Coz the laugh I am talking here is not the forced, teeth baring ha! ha! ha! one, but a laugh which makes you wanna laugh along. This sense of humour is what I believe the key to a successful relationship. Now please don't kill me, but I know a lot of girlfriends who have the tendency of freaking out at the drop of a hat. And all the pent up tension comes out when the customary midnight love call happens. I knew a friend who could not talk to her boyfriends wihtiut yelling at him. God knows why? But by the end she would be in splits, laughing loudly and falling of her bed.

The guy could make her see the positive of all the problems with his sense of humour and that is what which was the lifesaver to their relationship. Somehow his smile put all her worries and irritations to rest.

If a guy can make you laugh from you heart.....then he is a gem.....keep him around! They are really rare!


Peace!!

WHAT IS IT ABOUT A GUY WHO..........................

1. PLAYS A GUITAR:

Eternal weakness I must say! Why do you think the Beatles were such a rage and women lost their sanity about them? 90% of my crushes so far have been guitar wielders....including my last one. But I have always noticed that whatever a guy may look like, he may be a douche bag for all you know, short, fat, weird, ugly....whatever.....everything is put to rest when this instrument comes in the fray. Besides the fact that it is the most sexiest instrument ever to be made, it makes the guy 'look' amazing too. Huh, no wonder every dude you know wants to learn to play the damn thing!! It's such a chick magnet!!!! 

But then again, when has music not attracted the female species? Any guy with a sense of music is great, but there is something about an acoustic guitar! You kinda relate to it you know, plus it gives him a whole guy next door look. And it does not hurt if he is wearing a worn out tee and baggy shorts!!! Sweet Lord!!!! So!  It does not come as a surprise to see women(including myself) swooning when a guy holds this wooden piece of marvel like he is holding his lady love and strumming the strings of her heart...........okay..come back.... now!

That day I was at marine drive enjoying the gorgeous orange and purple sky, it was unusual to see hardly any people around considering it's usual status. Anyway, this guy came and plonked down right next to me, gave a smile, took out his guitar and started playing...something.....but next thing I know, gaggles of girls swooped down around him, trying to make it look inconspicuous(ha! who were they kidding?), almost throwing me onto the rocks below, only to listen to their gorgeous Apollo!! Well, considering my life I had to move over to a safer place!

So, there you go...one of the most popular type of guys which seem to be sprouting all over the place as we speak.

The list will be continued as my gift to you readers for the coming Val's Day.............so ladies.....keep posted!!!

peace!!!

I HATE FIGHTS!!! It brings out the worst in me!! :(

For a moment when you win the argument, the exhilaration is fantastic! It feels as if you have won a war. watching the other person frown in defeat or either hang their head and walk away is the best feeling! But what after that? When you are done gloating and laughing about it? when you are in you bed at night, and the sad face of your friends comes in you mind? how does it feel then?

I feel horrible! Like my insides are on fire, the tears that come to my own eyes are proof of the incredible guilt I feel and I just have to rush to that person and let them abuse me till they are content! Is that a stupid thing? I don't know how do I do it? But when those words come rushing out, I have the ability to hurt and strike the nail right on the head......which is terrible! Nowadays when I am angry I just go...blank! Nothing comes in my mind...instead of coherence my mind is cluttered with various feelings!!

When anger comes rushing in, how is one to stop it? I am much better now! At least I can smile and let it bounce of when people say things to me, or either mock me when they think i don't get it! But there are moments when there are words on the tip of my tongue....and just a nudge is enough for me to explode. I dread that vile feeling.

Anger is a bad thing.............I had to manage it once, it turns people into a monster, their own monster, a side that they try so hard to cover up! This anger then leads to small and petty fights, which then grows into something bigger and then gets infested and begins to decay...........leaving it ugly!! I hate it!

I was just remembering an equally ugly fight I had a few years ago with a friend. How I was quivering with anger listening to her accusations, and there were so many things in my mind that I wanted to tell her..but I didn't....I just kept it buried deep within me that one day, out of nowhere, I just exploded......God!!! It was awful!! Watching her eyes tear up.........it was horrible! I could not think straight for the next week. It never mended.........our ego's were blocking the way.

So guys.....I obviously cant ask you not to fight.....but....at least we can try to reduce the venom....and the most important thing, come back...come back after the fight is done and over, because it does not matter how long and hard you fight, but how fast can you forgive and be together and happy again.

I have tried......and in the process let people walk over me at times, but I don't mind.....as long as that horrible bubbling guilt stays away from me!

peace!!

WHEN I THOUGHT FRACTURES WERE DA BOMB....................and got carried away!!!

Broken arms( 3 times),
broken legs( 2 times),
broken collarbone( 2 times),
broken  fingers( 2 times),
AND
broken ankles( 2 times).
equals to.........................
ELEVEN FRIGGIN FRACTURES!!!!!!!!!! And the best part is, 9 of them were even before I was 12 years old!! I know...you are probably thinking....."aww....poor Marina!" BUT it was the simply awesome!!

I was probably the only kid around who would come into unusual high spirits about a broken limb and walk around with a grin on my face!! That was because they did not see the bright side of a cast like good ol me! People around  me were at my beck and call.......... it was my hall pass to absolute heaven. The sympathy, the treats, also the 'no-homework' was ultimate!! The sight of an impy lil' kid with a huge cast was a enough to melt anyone. Sigh! Good times!!

It went on for quite some time..........till the tables turned. Suddenly I was missing class picnics, could not get out out of the house, sports day was a no-show, I missed my friends birthday parties......the gorgeous cakes I missed...sob....it was pure horror!  Then, the itching got terrible and my mum would yell at me for rubbing my arm against the wall like some elephant and getting the paint off!!! And the worst...............one fracture completely deformed my arm...till this day it looks so scary if I stick it out.....how I dreaded taking the pledge in school!!!!! From then on, I thought it was about time I get a grip on my crazy fate!!

And i did.....till the 12th grade....where I broke both my pinkie fingers while playing basket ball......the only consolation was that the doctor was cute!!!! but since then......touch wood...I have kept my word...no fractures..yet!! Plenty of cuts, sprains, falls, but no fracture!!

Everyone should have at least one fracture before they get old(coz then it's not so much fun as I have described!)..its an awesome experience. when the hand is being put in the cast....the fun signing sessions, and the best...when they cut the cast...its so freaky!! Like they are gonna cut right through your arm..and when you see your arm....it looks like a shriveled stick! Errr........it sounds gross and scary BUT trust me...its super fun!!!!!

What I am trying to say here is, don't freak out when you break something...its normal and gives you license to be pampered like a princess, plus all the attention you get is fantastic!!!

So go ahead....break a leg.........literally!!!!

peace!!

WHERE ARE YOU?

I am waiting here, I have been waiting for a long time.....

looking out of my window.......just for a glance of you.

But  I am losing hope now,

waiting is a hard thing to do.

But maybe you are right in front of me.

maybe it is me who is blind,

maybe I don't want to see you.

But then why am I still waiting here? alone?

You should know that you are the most frightening thing to me,

and that is why I have always been running away from you.

These walls around me are my own, I made them to keep you away......

but also so that you can break them down and reach out to me.

Why does everyone make falling in love sound so easy?

when it is the toughest thing in the world.

Moreover, you are not someone whom I would melt to right away...I think,

even though I would love to.

I don't want to stand here waiting forever,

I want to run right into your arms.

But so help me if I am holding myself back with everything I have got,

will this change after I see you?

Until then, I am here, fighting myself every minute,

going crazy with fear..........and hope.

Just so that one day, this wait will be over,

and I finally will be in love with you....forever......

peace!!

Are "Real" Friends Utopian Already?????

"Sometimes its not easy to be good." 

I came to know of a very disturbing thing recently dear readers,.......some people think that true friends don't exist anymore. When someone would say, "what has become of this world?" I would scoff at them.But now...those words are swilling in my mouth!

All my life, wherever I have been posted so far, I have made friends...good friends..just friends....on and off friends...and they have been the Woodstock to my happiness, my reason to look forward to each new day. Even now, I have so many friends in college and I feel happy and sated in their midst!! But when I look around, I see a mockery of friendship....there are rare bonds where friends are true to each other, and that is just....sad.

A true friend is someone who is your twin soul, who does not need to ask you if you need help. They are the ones who will think that you are their evrything, and they will follow you to the ends of the world! You can stay without talking them for days, but when you speak to them, you don't feel the time gap! A true friend! Many of you think that all the aforementioned qualities are 'ideal'........really? are they? But wait a minute....have you ever been such a friend to anyone? Then how can you call them ideal when you have not even tried to be someone like that???

You may laugh at me, call me a liar, or say I am bullshitting.....but I have such a person in my life. Call me lucky, blessed..whatever...but I do. and I realized that as soon as I got separated from her. I met Nivi in the 8th grade and got transferred right in the next year. We became fast friends. But after I left and when we wrote to each other, we realized that we were more than mere friends.......it was pure sisterly love....a relation where we were so close that even though we were apart, it did not matter. It is then I realized that what a friend I have...she made me believe what I am trying to tell you people.

Till date we have not fought, not argued, never lied and I believe have never even had the slightest trace of jealously, anger or anything of that sort. There never was the need to. She has the power to calm me when I feel I will explode, to console me when there is no one for me, to simply make me a better person. It has been 9 years and we re stronger than ever.

Still cant believe me??? WHY???? why? why? why??????? What has happened to you? Did a bad experience with a friend shatter you belief? come on!! If that was the case I should have jumped off a cliff by now!

I have been hurt by some real close friends, been left helpless and defenseless when I needed them.....ridiculed by them....you think I was made of rock? I cried to sleep thinking about that! But instead of making me a bitter person, it brought out the best in me. It made me swear that never, ever in my life will I ever do that to a friend....because no friend deserves that.

It is not a contract where you have certain expectations from each other. it is how much you can give....how much can you do for them...how much can you be there for them...how much can you fight for them. Have you evr fought for a friend? It is the toughest thing to do. It is all about you, and what you can do for them.

Now you might argue with me that it is plain human to have doubts or at times lie or feel jealous about a friend. listen to yourself....why would you feel all that in the first place if that person is your twin soul?? And even if you do feel like that...it is okay...as long as you come back to him/her at the end of the day......not keep that niggling feeling buried down in your heart. Forgiving, forgetting and moving on are the cardinal rules in friendship.

But what many people have argued with me is about when a friend gives us grief...when they hurt us...what are we to do...stand by them even then???? People, let them go.....I have done that...and trust me, it hurts like hell, because watching someone who was a part of your life suddenly not wanting to be with you anymore....is painful. But it is the best thing you can do for them. It does not have to turn ugly. 

Look, you may call me a fool for my beliefs....thinking that they cannot happen in real life......but all I have to say is,.....as you sow. so you shall reap! It is not possible that you are the best Friend to someone and they treat you like scum...because goodness is a rare thing, and is recognized when seen.

So believe....believe in the power of  a true friend....it is okay if you don't have one, but that should not stop you from being someone's.

peace!!

Whoever said Indian women are a gentle, meek species.......what were you thinking???

Before I write anything, I want my readers to know that right now I have a crushed toe, an almost broken rib and arms that might just fall of my sockets. No no, a herd of elephants didn't run over me, ha! I wish they had, all I did was travel in a crowded ladies compartment on my way to college. Please lift your jaws from the floor.

I believe my readers are familiar with the Mumbai local trains. As innocuous as they might sound, they are the most lethal and dangerous places to be. Can't believe me? I know, I mean what can possibly happen in a train where you travel for an hour max? right? Lemme tell you, my sweet, innocent and naive little bunny tails.

People get cut, pushed of the train, verbally abused and in some cases we have hair pulled out. And the most fantastic part is that, most of this happens in the ladies compartment. Amazing right? Lemme tell you what happens when a train stops at a stop. Women don't just climb in, oh no! They charge in with every ounce of pent up strength and anger they have from their frustrated mornings. You don't hear the gentle chitter chatter of dulcet tones, but high decibel screeches of, "jyam aila! halkat!"..... "move you bitch! MOVE!".............."areeee aage jao naaaa..........." I truly am blessed to hear such beautiful words as I start my day.

And it does not end here, elbows and knees come immediately into action. All to move a just a fraction. and some of us who get plastered against the railings have all our delicate parts assaulted by our dear ladies. And you cant even say anything, half the wind is knocked out of you and you are squashed into a sandwich, then even 'big' girls like me have to think twice before opening out mouths. It sure is a wonder to see the female brain devising various plans trying to get a seat or just to lean on a railing. 

A few moths ago, around 9:30 am, on my way to college in the usual overcrowded state I felt something sharp on my knees(i was wearing a skirt), but I did not bother since getting kicked in the shins is considered pretty normal in a train. When I reached class my friends eyes fell out as she saw my knees. they were covered in blood, apparently they got slashed when some woman must have tried to force her handbag(I hate those things! One of these days I am gonna write about those horrid contraptions) as she tried to get in and my knees must have made contact with some metal crap design!! It was horrible!

At times you cant even get out on your stop, the force of the people who enter is overwhelming and then again, when you do get of, you have to risk your life and try to jump of before the train stops...or else you will die anyway in the mulling multitude of crazy women waiting to pounce into the coach. But I prefer falling on cement than being clawed, any day. 

Whereas in the men's compartment, the crowd is swollen double, but they never throw a man out with such vehemence, in fact they try to accommodate as many as they can, and if they feel it is getting over crowded and there will the genuine danger to the guy, very politely they tell him not to get in, and that is exactly what he does! Unlike women, who will find a quarter of an inch to stick their dainty feet and then ram their knee up some poor unfortunate soul's ass as they try to push and dig as if trying to go all the way to china!! An accidental nudge turns into the cause for an argument! You feel so helpless!

It has been 6 months since I have been traveling, and I have got to say, it makes you tough. Suddenly you don't feel pain anymore, large number of people don't matter and you also become extremely thick skinned, i.e, any number of abuses hurled at you makes absolutely no difference!!

I know, the way I am making it sound is like I go to war everyday, but this is what happens. Then again, its an experience, but I have also met women who are so sweet that they take one look at your haggard and worn face and give you their precious seat. You almost cry in rare moments like that.

My respect for women has increased by ten folds, and so should yours...if you value your life! Don't let that sabji basket and demure saree fool you!!

peace!

WHERE IS THE REAL YOU???...............................Think, think hard.

You are such a faker, and you know that,

all that......"oh! I am not into all this", is such a give away.

But why are you like this?

let me try to figure this out.

You wanted to look like her, but could not,

so out came the "made up" face.

You always wanted to prove that you could be tough,

hence the forced abusing.

There was this girl you adored, 

but she liked your tall and sexy friend,

oh! the rage you felt! So you slummed out in the gym.

She would glance at you once, but that was it.

Sometimes when your aunt commented on your pathetic manners,

you tried your level best not to spread your legs apart and sit,

and try to say 'please' and 'oh! that's not a problem', endless times.

How many times have you forced yourself to have that awful drink, 

you don't even know when did you start drinking that.

All to show that you are different, but I hope you realize that in the end you were just like them.

Can you forget the way you cried when you puked the whole night?

You always hated the way your hair looked,

straightening, conditioning, the works......

You dont look like who you were,

do you still like it?

You love listening to hindi music.

You want that girl to not give up on you.

You hate those people who treat you like scum.

How you yearn to say out loud that you still love Aqua!

Why would you want to change for someone who has been with you for 5 minutes?
or think that who you really are is not good enough!
There were some people out there, if you remember who watched silently as you changed,
do you remember them? do they even matter anymore?

You're such a big faker, I can see it so well now. 

But it scares me that you can't see yourself anymore.

I know that I have lost you my friend......

but I haven't given up on you.

peace!

I AM A MALAYALI...........DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Now!!! This is coming from a  conversation I had with a certain someone who thinks that all Malayalis on this planet should be exterminated!! Weellll...................obviously...I had to do something...soooo here I am, back to you lovely people!!!

And let me get one thing straight, its not mallu or mall or malli, its Ma-la-ya-li, learn to say that first!

We are a simple race, known for our big eyes and lustrous black hair, atrocious accented english(in some cases) and breeding abilities. I mean, name one corner on this big planet that we have not rooted ourselves, be it the US, UK....Australia...and the Gulf?? Dude! Its mini Kerala out there! Our banana chips are practically a cult AND everyone dies to get a taste of our meen curry!! And ladies, your John Abraham is half Malayali. ;)

I have been practically all over the country(folks are in the army) and have never seen any place yet being untouched by the malayali culture. My mother is usually plagued with offers to get the Kasavu saree, I am stalked for chips and the non-Malayalis are more enthusiastic about Onam. So there....what more can I say? we rock!!

Yes, of course, I wont be so mahaan  and say we are almighty...we have our flaws.....here are some real irritating ones according to my sources. (so journalistic eh? :D)

First. Nosy. A typical Malayali will WANT to know whats going on, and WILL find out what's going on, and the way he goes about doing that is the problem. He may forget that in the process he is either making a fool out of himself or irritating the hell out of the other person.

Second. Loud. There is this tradition in some parts of Kerala where a new born baby is fed liquid gold diluted with water for a few weeks to make its voice more sonorous and clear(my mum unknowingly gave me an overdose for a month!). So, there. But I do agree, it is annoying. I, have the decibel of a bullhorn myself and have been told off by loads by my friends to bring down my pitch from the rafters. We do sing pretty well though, make good sopranos!!! XDXD

Now, this one I don't know what to say. Irritating. Really? I know that we are extremely loyal friends and fiercely protective about whom we care. Maybe that is irritating to some lame asses. Sorry, but come on, you have issues with someone for being close to you? Get a life!

And what is the problem if we like to be with our own kind and jabber in Malayalam? Grow up! Its something chemical that we have no control over. We might not speak in Malayalam with our parents back home, but the pleasure of speaking(even broken) Malayalam to a friend is something you have no idea of! Why should it irritate you if we speak in our mother tongue? We can always teach you if you want! (but watching u guys go ape trying to decipher what the hell we are saying is ambrosia!)  So people, back off! And speak in frigging Swahili to spite us, I don't care, but don't tell us to shut up! Coz we wont. and hey!! You learn so many popular abuses from these conversations of ours man, thendi, patti(most popular), poda patti, naayi, chette.....plenty more where that comes from.

We work hard to get what we want and even though we don't get it easily, we get it. And if some people think that is being selfish...go take a hike!  A Malayali friend is a treasure, we go out of our way to ensure that our friends are happy and safe, and we never switch loyalties...I know... it sounds like I am describing a dog but its true! We believe in whatever you say, that does not mean gullible, but our trust in you. And our sense of humor... name one Malayali who has not kept you in splits till your stomach hurts. We can make the whole room go crazy in an instant. It's a gift and we are naturals at that!!!!!!!!!!

Soooooooo.............have I tweaked your brains even a tiny bit? I hope I have. Even though I go to my hometown just once a year, that too, for a couple of weeks and my accent is not Malayali enough, and I cant stand coconut oil in my food or hair, I am and always will be a proud Malayali forever!!!! :)


peace!!

MY OWN PERSONAL 'LIL DEVIL.................ALSO MY BUNDLE OF JOY!!

When Aleseo Paulose was born on 3rd May 1996, and dad told me that I have a little brother, the first thing that slipped out of my 6 year old lips was, "can't we exchange him?", I was terrified!! a boy! even though he was newborn, A BOY!!! (I guess male phobia started at quite an early age for me), but yes, I was a bundle of nerves that after when dad was bringing him home that afternoon.

When I saw him for the first time from the top of the stairs, all I saw was a loaf of bread! Where was the baby? when I went down...I saw my lil brothers face for the first time. Tiny, teeeeney tiny...pink, and a squashed face. I recall cocking my head side to side like a bird to figure out which way he looked the the best.

"You wanna hold him?" Mum asked.

"No." 

"It's allright da, you will like him."

"No way."

And I sprinted to my room and banged it shut almost unhinging it!!

I know, crazy right? Who would not want to hold their little brother? ME! It was so scary, he was like a fragile piece of china that I was perpetually scared to touch. This state lasted for at least a week. one afternoon I tiptoed slowly to his little bed, I orbited around him for at least half an hour when I decided to enter the dragon's mouth. 

He was gurgling and there was drool all over his bib and his mouth...oohkayyy..his features had become quite clear now and those cherubic cheeks were just begging to be pulled, BUT, I got a grip on my self! With an almighty groan I leaned over him and looked straight into his eyes. He let out a long, high pitched scream of laughter at a decibel that only bats could hear, some weird blubbering sounds followed by incomprehensible words...and then....... he waved at me with those chubby fists...

Magic. I can't think of any other word...what I felt was so strong and powerful, this...this wave of protectiveness engulfed me. He was mine, and mine alone, MY little brother. And from that moment on my parents had to beg me to put him down and stop snapping at people when they asked to hold him! Sometimes I used to pinch and prod him...just to see how he would react...come on!!! I was a curious kid hehehehe......

We have come a long way since then, he is a strapping 15 year old boy now, engrossed in his dreams of making it to the Indian cricket team, but I still see him as the little baby with chocolate brown eyes, the most heavenly cheeks and a face that could make the angels jealous. Of course, it never was clean, I mean the mini wars that we would have....still do...sometimes would make me wonder if we really did love each other....but we do.

Once, when he was 5 years old, we were crossing the road and because of my mistake he almost came under a truck, I went into Post Traumatic Stress after that incident, I can never forget the look on his face as the truck screeched to halt just inches away from him. I felt so guilty and helpless, my heart was in my mouth and I could not stop sobbing. Till this day, whenever I cross the road, I ensure that I hold the hand of the person crossing with me...whether they like it or not.

There are moments when you don't need to say things to each other, but are understood anyway. Now, both of us are engrossed in our lives, hardly have time for each other, squabble, make cruel jibes at each other...say things that hurt....cry, but we have also grown more strong than ever!

Just a few days ago it was my birthday, and you should have seen him...poor guy! He was trying so hard to give me a 'surprise' and completely forgot that the cake was lying open in the kitchen, and when he found out, he locked himself in his room. After a lot of coaxing he agreed to come out, but he was back to normal and started decorating the cake(almost destroyed it in the process) and was bouncing around like a jerboa! tell me?  do I need any other proof that he is awesome??

I love him! Always will! My chottu chuha!! And being his big sis has taught me so much and made me a better person. Big sisters with little brothers all over the world are the luckiest, because when they are kids you are their fierce and gentle protector, but when they grow up, they give you back all the love and care in abundance(you should see his face when some guy tries to get fresh with me......a frikkin hulk!!).

Can't wait to spend the rest my life with him by my side. It sure is going to be an interesting ride..........bursting with love!!!

peace!!

AH! SUNDAY!!!!............................U MEAN AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH SUNDAY??

I miss Sundays! I really do! God knows when was the last time I had one!

You are probably thinking what am I saying, after all this is a Sunday, but what I AM talking about is a real Sunday, when where you wake up, the only thought in your mind is what mamma has made for breakfast, or which friend are you gonna meet today? or which movie is coming on max?

And now, even before you clean you'r teeth you are glued on your laptop, texting, breaking your head over various assignments, work, where you can go and booze today? The "real" Sunday  is dying my friends, and I intent on saving it.

As far as I can remember, my perfect Sunday was going to the church in the morning(I still do...but in the evenings!), then come back and have a yummy malayali breakfast, mostly appam and chicken stew(sweet lord)! then plonking down in front of the television and watching either Mahabharat or Ramayan. then a little homework, a heavy lunch, a lil nap and the rest of the evening was nothing but absolute fun! Now THAT, was a Sunday mon amie!! Even during under grad in hostel, we would would wait for Sundays, so that we could gorge on our customary idly-vada brekky and then the lazy ritual of washing clothes...good times!

I guess, all of it is part of "growing up", you start loosing time for yourself, you don't care about breakfast, its work all the way!! its completely natural to be worried about what is pending. What a load of  ****!! We are to blame, come on! Are you saying that you don't have the time to have a good time? Listen to yourself! Sunday is our one chance to sit back and actually give our nerves a break! And that too goes down either killing time or having a nervous breakdown thinking about the impending doom of Monday!!

God Almighty made Sunday with a purpose, after all, he created the whole world in 6 days and that was a lot of heavy duty, he needed some time to breathe, so voila, Sunday!! don't you think we need a day, okay, at least half a day, to ourselves? I don't know, but it seems like most of us have forgotten ways to unwind ourselves. Hold your horses, whining on Facebook and cell phone usage does not count! I am talking abut, going for a long walk, cooking, baking, singing, playing something, trying out something new, meeting pals,  chalo yaar even blogging to some extent!

Do you remember you'r Sundays when you were younger, sure there was not so much work to do, but still, at least it dint pop in your brain all the time. When was the last time you read your Sunday horoscope on your bed with a mug of coffee, and actually reacted to what you read? We deserve it, and we need it! Even though I am in bed with a muscle pull, I had a  pretty good start today. A nice cheese omelet, newspaper and blogging. I know that by around 6pm my panic button will do the conga, but till then I am going to have a real Sunday!

And so should you! Don't let the worldly moochers and their bag of misery steal your Sunday away from you my friends, this is our day...go for it :) !!!

peace! :)